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Lying Is the New Survival Technique

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Can you imagine yourself as Govinda from the movie “kyunki main jhooth nahi bolta”? What if the power of lying gets snatched from us? Will we be able to survive?
Some lies are meant to save us; these lies are often cute and harmless. Sometimes we take the help of lies just to save others from disappointments and sometimes to safeguard us from the anger of a particular person.
We will have to accept that lying is the only survival technique when it comes to these situations:

To get a work leave
Lyingaboutgoingtooffice
I need a leave because it’s my brother’s marriage, mom’s birthday, I think I am going to be ill tomorrow, my grand-grandfather died (who actually died 25 years back) are some of the most common lies that we crib in front of our boss to fetch work leave. You are so good at it that your boss gets no idea about your Goa holiday and that innocent fellow grants you the leave.

When you are asked for a Drink in a family function
Turndownadrink
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“Drink..?? I am so much in hate with drinks that I don’t even drink water sometimes. I strictly believe in no alcohol.” Congratulations your uncle got no idea about your 10/10 drinking skills and he will now use your example in front of his kids.

When someone asks you how is she/he looking
Howamilooking
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Most of the time you have to answer this question with a lie. If the person is not looking good enough you just cannot break their hearts by saying the truth… you need to say a yes. If you’re your wife, you better say a yes to avoid world war-3.

When you get late
Latetowork
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Whenever you are late to the office or a date, you are supposed to be there with a good lie for sure, just to save yourself from getting fired. “Traffic bohot tha”, “documents jama karane the” are one the most trusted saviors for this situation.

Is she your girlfriend/boyfriend?
Afriendexplaininganotherfriend
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No, no she/he is just a good friend. So what I start blushing immediately after hearing this question. We are just friend and we like to spend 18 hours talking on phone. It’s like the rule of our “friendship”.

Why were you not replying to my calls/messages?
whyyoudidnotanswermyohone
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“Because I was busy in a meeting. And then my battery died. What do you think, I was partying?” bammm… and you are saved… Happy endings!

Is this condom/i-pill/cigarette/thong etc. is yours
Thiscondomisnotmine

I bet none of us is going to honestly answer this. We would better die than claiming our ownership for these.

Are the exam results out?
Examresults
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No they are not. And they won’t unless you completely forget about the result thing. This lie is a savior if you haven’t scored well in the exams.

Have you done this?
Hahahah_No
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No I haven’t. I have no idea about it. This goes for almost everything that you did and is wrong according to the one who is asking this question.

What do you think about me as a person?
…and the never ending shower of lies starts. No matter how much you hate that person you have to lie about how good they are, or how important they are.