12 stupid things that your NRI friend does when back to India
1.He never carries cash because he has Cards
No matter you are at a restaurant, a hotel or a fuc**ng roadside “khomchewala” he will always try to make card payments. Denied by which he will crib crib crib and then crib a little more.
2.Usage of word
He won’t say you a Hi because he only knows ‘Hey’, he would take a “freeway” rather than a highway and he will make sure he is coming in a “cab” not taxi. He no more likes curd because “yogurt” is tastier. Tea tastes better when had with “cookies” so don’t serve him biscuits ever!
3.He no more earns in Lakhs
Because he is a “millionaire” and he earns in “Millions”.
4.No more a “zero”
Because all he knows is “OH” not zero. So now 704 is not seven hundred four its “seven OH four”.
5.DOLLAR DOLLAR everywhere
He tries to figure out the price of almost everything in Dollars as far as possible. (but deep down in heart they keep multiplying 55 times.)
6.Balanced diet is a must
They will always order “diet COKE” instead of normal COKE as it is fat free and will order a pizza with extra cheese. If you planned having “golgappas” with him; like you used to do earlier then forget about it, because he cannot resist chilies now.
You suddenly realize that their love for cricket and hockey has shifted to soccer and NBA. Now this is not done.
8.The “Z” attack
When Need To Say Z (Zed), Never Says Z (Zed), Repeats “Zee” Several Times, If The Other Person Unable To Get, Then Says X, Y Zee(But Never Says Zed).
He no more uses water after his “nature’s call” because tissues are so “kewl”. If there are no tissues in the house get ready to see the most annoying expressions on this planet.
The cow that was supposed to be Grazing, he will take it as a monster and react as if his life is in danger. Well this is very funny and hilarious.
They will always break the silence with “when I was in UK…” or “In UK we used to…”
12.Proof of being a NRI
From The Luggage Bag, Does Not Remove The Stickers Of Airways By Which He Traveled Back To India, Even After 4 Months Of Arrival.