10 funny Indian Superstitions
Superstitions are as synonymous to a culture as its people and they not confined only to our culture. No matter where you are in the world, every culture and every sect. of the society has a certain set of superstitions. The origins of these superstitions are mostly unknown but they have been around for long time. Well in all honesty, we don’t really care!! But we can do is take a little bit of humor out of them for our kicks…
Here is my take on the most common superstitions of India!!
Ghosts On Peepal tree
I don’t know who spread this useless superstition but whoever is responsible behind this entire parody has invented one successful superstition which still manages to scare the hell out of me.. Thank you bitch… I hope you get groped and raped by the ghost on ‘them’ PEEPAL trees…
Cat Crossing The Path
This one is part of almost every culture on the planet. Cats have always been looked about as evil beings and harbinger of evil across the world. I detest them with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. P.S – Thank you to the person who invented this superstition.
Now this one is a sword. The outcome of it depends on the eye the twitch is in. If the Itch is in your left eye; luck is on your side, you will receive generous amounts of free cash, you will find the love of your life and blah blah blah… But if the twitch is in your right eye, you’re in for some serious problems.. You will be bombarded with bad news, you will lose your job, your money and your girlfriend.. You will shed tears and spend the rest of your life in agony in some mental asylum….
The One Rupee Rule
In India, the most common gift for a Wedding or a Birthday Party is an envelope with money In it. Now that is all fine but what is the point of that amount ending in 1? Rs. 101, Rs.501, Rs. 1001!! The even more surprising is the fact that these envelopes are available with a One Rupee coin… Amazing!!
Lemon & Chilies Charm (‘Totka’)
The Lemon & Chilies Charm or the ‘Totka’ is probably the most common superstition that ever existed. It is not uncommon to find this Totka hanging outside of Shops, Offices, Houses, Motorcycles, Cars, Cycles and almost every fuc***g place you can imagine. The point of it all? To avoid all the evil spirits… And attract Goddess Laxmi..
No Meat on Certain Days of the week
Hahahaha… This one is just a gangland myth created by vegans to convert all meat eaters to ‘veganity’ (A secret cult trying to convert every living organism into grass eaters). I never have and never will trust this one. I shall continue eating steaks, chops, ribs to my heart’s content on any day I feel like. And please stay away all you vegan
Sweeping At Night – Sweeping away good luck
I have this strong unproved theory that our ancestors and great great great great great grandfathers spent a lot of time imaging stuff that they thought was a good way of getting some kicks. So, one fine day some hopelessly lazy bum decided to chicken out of the ritual of sweeping the house in the evening by spreading this rumorous superstition.
So when the world is out partying and consuming alcohol in dangerous proportions, this superstition urges you to stay indoors and do absolutely nothing.. Well I say, F**k you… to this stupid rule.
A black dot of kajal will save a child from almost anything that can be termed as evil or dangerous!! This can include a jealous neighbor, a cult of secret Satan worshipers who think the child is a reincarnation of god, terrorist attack, nuclear war, alien invasion, blah blah blah..!
This superstition has the biggest ‘not to do’ list ever…. You cannot venture out during a solar eclipse, you cannot eat, you cannot drink, breathe as little as possible using small short breaths, you can’t fart, you cannot shit, you cannot have sex, you cannot have your periods, you cannot pee and basically bans every single thing you do or think of doing.